Ow.

...my back is in a constant state of seizure. I can barely type this. I blame you for the incredible piercing pain. I hope it leaves me and effects you. oww. shit.

Para Ti

Hoy fue un día como cualquier otro día. Yo me desperté al silencio de mi vida caótica. Aprendí hoy que seré para siempre así pero como yo lo crezco consigue más fácil de tratar con. Yo casi soy hecho con la escuela por este semestre y yo espero consiguiendo para saber esa nueva chica, Christine. Steph es bonito refresca, también. Quizá un tres-algunos están en la orden.

Because you asked...

...I'm writing this for you, ris. I miss you. I hope life is better for you over there. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. I learned a lot from you but what I hope you learned from me is that you can't run from your problems because no matter how far you go, they always catch up.

En esta vida no hay las garantías. Espero un día que puedo contar con usted.

NaS

...was dope. His audience wasn't.

I could tell he was effected deeply by the response from the crowd. The only thing was that the crowd was more into hyphy and dressing fucking retarded than getting what Nasir was talking about. He dissed almost the entire crowd by being straight up. The shit went almost quiet when he started in on some underground shit while preaching "fuck the radio". I think the porkchop looking motherfucker in front of me dropped a tear. Too many hypebeast faggots.

Represent, represent!! [repeat 4X]

Straight up shit is real and any day could be your last in the jungle
Get murdered on the humble, guns'll blast, niggaz tumble
The corners is the hot spot, full of mad criminals
who don't care, guzzlin beers, we all stare
at the out-of-towners (Ay, yo, yo, who that?) They better break North
before we get the four pounders, and take their face off
The streets is filled with undercovers, homicide chasin brothers
The D.A.'s on the roof, tryin to, watch us and knock us
And killer coppers, even come through in helicopters
I drink a little vodka, spark a L and hold a Glock for
the fronters, wannabe ill niggaz and spot runners
Thinkin it can't happen til I, trap em and clap em
and leave em done, won't even run about Gods
I don't believe in none of that shit, your facts are backwards
Nas is a rebel of the street corner
Pullin a Tec out the dresser, police got me under pressure

Represent, represent!! [repeat 4X]

Yo, they call me Nas, I'm not your legal type of fella
Moet drinkin, marijuana smokin street dweller
who's always on the corner, rollin up blessed
When I dress, it's never nuttin less than Guess
Cold be walkin with a bop and my hat turned back
Love committin sins and my friends sell crack
This nigga raps with a razor, keep it under my tongue
The school drop-out, never liked the shit from day one
cause life ain't shit but stress fake niggaz and crab stunts
So I guzzle my Hennesey while pullin on mad blunts
The brutalizer, crew de-sizer, accelerator
The type of nigga who be pissin in your elevator
Somehow the rap game reminds me of the crack game
Used to sport Bally's and Gazelle's with black frames
Now I'm into fat chains, sex and Tecs
Fly new chicKs and new kicks, Heine's and Beck's

Represent, represent!! [repeat 3X]

No doubt; see my, stacks are fat, this is what it's about
Before the BDP conflict with MC Shan
Around the time when Shante dissed the Real Roxxane
I used to wake up every mornin, see my crew on the block
Every day's a different plan that had us runnin from cops
If it wasn't hangin out in front of cocaine spots
We was at the candy factory, breakin the locks
Nowadays, I need the green in a flash just like the next man
Fuck a yard God, let me see a hundred grand
Could use a gun Son, but fuck bein the wanted man
but if I hit rock bottom then I'ma be the Son of Sam
Then call the crew to get live too
with Swoop, Hakim, my brother Jungle, Big Bo, cooks up the blow
Mike'll chop it, Mayo, you count the profit
My shit is on the streets, this way the Jakes'll never stop it
It's your brain on drugs, to all fly bitches and thugs
Nuff respect to the projects, I'm ghost, One Love

Represent y'all, represent!! [repeat 4X]

One time for your motherfuckin mind
This goes out to everybody in New York
that's livin the real fuckin life
And every projects, all over
To my man, Big Will he's still here [echoes]
The 40 side of Vernon
My man Big L.E.S.
Big Cee-Lo from the Don
Shawn Penn, the 40 busters
My crew the shorty busters
The 41st side of Vernon posse
The Goodfellas
My man Cormega, Lakid Kid
Can't forget Drawers, the Hillbillies
My man Slate, Wallethead
Black Jay, Big Oogi
Crazy barrio spot (Big Dove)
We rock shit, Ph.D
And my man Primo, from GangStarr
(Ninety-four real shit y'all, Harry O!)
Fuck y'all crab ass niggaz though...
(Yeah, bitch ass niggas!) [etc.]

What the Fuck?

It happened. I think I cursory met a chick that I might be compatible with. Time will tell but from first sight and the resulting conversation I learned that I'm not alone and that this chick is firme.

Shaolin shadowboxing, and the Wu-Tang sword style
If what you say is true, the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang
could be dangerous
Do you think your Wu-Tang sword can defeat me?

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

[Chorus: RZA]

Bring da motherfuckin ruckus
Bring da motherfuckin ruckus
Bring da mother, bring da motherfuckin ruckus
Bring da motherfuckin ruckus

[Verse One: Ghostface Killah]

Ghostface, catch the blast of a hype verse
My glock bursts, leave in a hearse, I did worse
I come rough, tough like an elephant tusk
Ya head rush, fly like Egyptian musk
Aw shit, Wu-Tang Clan spark the wicks an'
However, I master the trick just like Nixon
Causin terror, quick damage ya whole era
Hardrocks is locked the fuck up, or found shot
P.L.O. style, hazardous, cause I wreck this dangerous
I blow sparks like Waco, Texas

[Verse Two: Raekwon the Chef]

I watch my back like I'm locked down, hardcore
Hittin sound, watch me act bugged, and tear it down
A literate type asshole, songs goin gold, no doubt
and you watch a corny nigga fold
Yeah, they fake and all that
Carryin gats but yo, my Clan
Rollin like forty Macs
Now ya act convinced, I guess it makes sense
Wu-Tang, yo sewwwwwwwww, represent
I wait for one to act up
Now I got him backed up
Gun to his neck now, react what?
And that's one in the chamber
Wu-Tang banger, 36 styles of danger

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: Inspectah Deck]

I rip it hardcore, like porno-flick bitches
I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits
Check it, my method on the microphone's bangin
Wu-Tang slang'll leave your headpiece hangin
Bust this, I'm kickin like Segall, Out for Justice
The roughness, yes, the rudeness, ruckus
Redrum, I verbally assault with the tongue
Murder one, my style shot ya knot like a stun-gun
I'm hectic, I wreck it with the quickness
Set it on the microphone, and competition get blown
By this nasty ass nigga with my nigga, the RZA
Charged like a bull and got pull like a trigga
So bad, stabbin up the pad with the vocab, crab
I scream on ya ass like your dad, bring it on...

[Chorus]

[Verse Four: The Genius/GZA]

Yo, I'm more rugged than slaveman boots
New recruits, I'm fuckin' up MC troops
I break loops, and trample shit, while I stomp!
A mudhole in that ass, cause I'm straight out the swamp
Creepin up on site, now it's Fright Night
My Wu-Tang slang is mad fuckin' dangerous
And more deadly than the stroke of an axe
Choppin through ya back *swish*
Givin bystanders heart-attacks
Niggas try to flip, tell me who is him
I blow up his fuckin prism
Make it a vicious act of terrorism
You wanna bring it, so fuck it
Come on and bring the ruckus
And I provoke niggaz to kick buckets
I'm wettin CREAM, I ain't wettin fame
Who sellin gain, I'm givin out a deadly game
It's not the Russian it's the Wu-Tang crushin
Roulette, slip up and get fucked like Suzette
Bring da fuckin ruckus...

[Chorus]

So bring it on...

punk nigga!

Back to the Lesson At Hand

I went skating on Maryland today. Stopped by Workmen's in the mall and saw the close homie Tired Tom or The Captain. He's running shit over there now so take advantage of the offer Floorock is promoting through Workmen's internet campaign and cop shit. Skated down to Thoroughbredz to see what was really good with them. The big asian kid looked hella familiar. I can't place his name but big ups to him for trying to make shit happen. They however, have a sign that SAYS they take discover but their machine decided otherwise today. No twelvebar tees or no mas swag for means.

After a failed attempt at patronizing their somewhat failing store I skated across the way to New Standard. I think the black dude's name is k but I forgot. He's cool. He hooked up a discount on some swag I copped for a homie in Costa Rica. Crooks shit...not my favorite but I gotta get the fam what they want, right? Shot the shit about the haps in means' life with homie and then skated across the way back to the whip. I did, however, eat shit one time on some fucked up pavement around UNLV and ripped my $100+ nudie jeans. I was upset. Not mad or pissed, just upset. Whatever, they're just fucking jeans, right?

After all of that mindless rambling I get to the point of the entry: let's support those cats no matter how badly we think they're fucking up. Let's make local stores come up heavy so maybe they'll have the loose capital to do what they want and not just what makes hype shit sell. This even goes for one of my least favorite stores in Vegas, Fruity-tion.

What We Have to Look Forward To

Man. I really hate Starbucks. Their coffee tastes what I'd assume shit must taste like. You people will drink anything.

I used to walk all alone..

...on the opposite side of the road.

I'm halfway home and I'm on my own.
I'm halfway there and I don't care.
It ain't my time.
I don't mind.
I'll be fine.

So, I've been hella introspective as of late. Not so much on this shitty blog but just on the daily as I go about humping out life.I used to think that I could just sit and wait for the right time. I've realized that I'll never get my shot unless I set myself to fail but give it my all just the same. I have so many opportunities to make good and get over but I feel that I'm here in between what's to come and what was. I keep holding on to the memories of past loves lost and fail to appreciate new starts. I'm on the computer hourly, constantly searching for some way to make sense of today yet unable to let go of past yesterdays. I'm writing for this journal, Trust Us. It's hella getting myself down on paper. You know, a real shot at letting my side get recognition. I can't hate on the opportunities represented by that option.

I mean, Tom is a dope cat and it's working out real well, our new business relationship. Granted that we still have yet to face the really tough shit. The censoring process-no editing so much as censoring really-and the inevitable expense of production and distribution is going to be hell on wheels and I'll most likely be rediculously burntout by the end of teh whole first issue but it's making sense for me and giving myself a way to get some of the hurt out. Really that's all that seems to make me really step up my game writing-wise; the whole internal hurting that we all mask with jovial consternation and almost forced levity. I just never have been good at dealing with it, I guess. I mean, this sounds hella weak sauce but, yeah, I'm hella fucked up inside sometimes. Sometimes I get ridiculously mad and start shit with people for no good reason and other times I just don't feel anything at all. No emotion, no nothing. I had to grow up real quick when I was younger.

I never had a dad even when I did have a dad but I don't think I can blame my fam for my fuck ups. Looking at the situation in a worldly light I figure there isn't a really reason why so much as there just is what is. Seeing shit in this light is a sad necessity for me. If I keep blaming people or times I'll just be missing the moment. I don't think there is a "why" at all in my instance. There just is what is. Nothing could have been different. Nothing could have gone any other way. I feel that right now is what IS and trying to understand that is as easy as looking at what's happening. What's happening is what all there is. I'm cool with that, I think. I just hope what will be is worth wading through what's happening right now because this shit is fucking tedious when you're going it alone.

Alright. Time to find Ms. Right-Now.

I Helped Homeless Kids

...for three hours with project schoolbell. I think I shaved a good two weeks of purgatory off of my sentence.

No...

...really.

Trust Us.

We're the real deal.

We're the ones that say bad motherfucker on us.

Trust Me e1

It's official! I'm doin an underground journal.

Tired Tom and me are gunna make this shit legit. Seriously fear the publicized release of my cloistered hate and churning evil. I'll rock you, bitches.

Four in One Day

I'm amazing at life.

SD was the shit. Landlord Jim's Cocktail Machine directly after a four hour drive on Friday. Josel's retardedly huge fucking mansion party afterwards till 6am. Two hours of no sleep due to miniature dogs fighting incessantly and everyone except me having sex. Early morning bbq with the Brazy 88, Jay from 5&A Dime, and an assortment of other fine SD fucks. A subsequent crashing of an expensive bike at high speeds resulting in minor lacerations and a mnor concussion. Some sexy party times at a no-name on Adams' Street with Spade, Terry, and Tired Tom. Some much needed sleep. Another early up followed by Oscar's for cobb salad goodness. Hrm....goodness. Then Some meandering about La Jolla to peep the old hood followed by a scoot to PB and MB for some scenery. We housed the entire thing together with a meaningless trip to find Commissary in Hillcrest which resulted in failure but an understanding in how Tom's insane mind works and to never EVER trust him when he says "trust me".

Missed

We had a weird kind of thing. Luckily, she doesn't miss me so I'm off the hook!!!

My Sister is Pro

I love my sister. She's a bastion of hope amongst a fog of inadequacy that is the youth of today....plus, she'd kick the shit out of any other ten year old I've ever seen. Notice the eyes? She's seriously a fucking ninja.

How did God..

..make so many beautiful babies and how the fuck did so many of them know to congregate on the CCSN campus today?

No joke, I got eye fucked by at least four retardedly hot bitches in a matter of minutes. Means is doing something right. It's not arrogance if it actually happens.

PS: If you don't skate don't perpetrate.

It's like that.

Why Me

...there wasn't a question there.

I'm writing a book.

It's dedicated to you.

That's why.

Excerpt:

I'm not Hemingway. We're not Robert Frost. This isn't the great American Novel and I'm not the Great American Author. I don't have a name, I don't have a nationality but I have a million different faces. I'm your son. I'm your daughter. I'm your nephew. I'm quite possible you. I'm the reason the x-games made it to ESPN. I'm the reason Tony Hawk is a household name. I'm a twenty-something and I have shaped our society into what it is today. You owe me everything.

Sitting Sideways

RIP Little Homie

why blogs are useless

why do we waste our time?

No, really...

Oooh. It's so snazzy.

Shawn's getting married. Geom has a baby girl. Ben has a baby boy. We're getting old.

The weather's shitty today. 60's and rainy= blah.

I finally gave in and found a bitch who's company I might entertain for a while. I feel like I gave up too easily. Whatever, the sex'll be dope and that's never a bad thing.

The new heater is so snazzy. .357's are the shit.

Freak Accident Involving Lite Techno

...I saw a candy kid on the way home blasting softcore techno out of her golf. I was instantly whisked back to a simpler time in arizona when raves still happened and bitches still would slob your knob for a pill. Man, I miss that shit.

On a softer or just less mentally driven note; AAA tee shirts are the shit. I rock absolutely nobody's brand unless I support em' 100%. Your gold foil tee shirt rocking a dude's line who don't know or respect is not impressive.

Dear god, make everyone die so I'll be happy.

Amen.

Have you ever...

...noticed how sexy you feel when you coordinate with plaid shorts?

I'm sitting right next to this chick who's lingerie shopping for, presumably, her man or job right in the fucking computer lab of CCSN. The shit that gets me fucked up is that she's the most unassuming chick I've ever seen and I've seen my fair share of quiet unassuming chicks. Shit, I got to know a few biblically if you get my drift. This bitch has no shame.

and people say higher education isn't for everyone..bah.

Vocational training,in the case of her profession, would be something I'd attend but never enroll in.

Yahtzee.

So Good You'll Suck Dick For It

I Found this on Ewok's blog. It was entirely too good not to repost. Way to play, Ewok.

Arm The Retard Army

New Heater. Hey, even the mentally deficient can own a weapon in this country.

Jesus Favors The Retarded

He smiles on this warm summers eve night and grants my not-so-humble blog the honor of being second listed when a search for Pro Keds Uptowners is initiated on google.

My already gassed ego will now expand by a power of 10.

Thank you for your time.

Jesus Was Black

..or at least really fucking brown.

It said so in the bible. White people freak the fuck out when you use the bible for purposes other than what it's intended for i.e. not using it to rape cultures.

Jam was dope. Thanks everyone for coming out. Fuck you to all the people who didn't.

The Get Back was ill. Nice battle. Trurock got paul for the third time in a row. UA are a funny bunch of dudes.

We got em again, kids.

RSK all day.


PS: La Famila de la Vegas?

I Believe In You.

...and maybe your whole crew.

Faith is all you have left, son.

I could smell that side of meat cooking hours after I left.

That smell just seems to hang around the cook after he's done.

The funniest part, you'll never know how or why you lost.

You might win some but you just lost one.

It was for Grupper.

RIP Football head yohawk.

Stupid Fresh Retarded Ill

Yep. Sat. Apr 7th. We're just gunna take over and shit.

Invisible Man Shit

Man, the nights are getting gorgeous temperature wise. I just cruised around my neighborhood for an extra twenty to thirty minutes for no other reason than to enjoy the weather. Trip life fantastic.

Gorilla Jam this Saturday. Sports Complex on Buffalo and Washington near the Summerlin parkway. Bring some beef for the bbq or the floor. Either way you're getting burnt. We're just gunna take over the spot all Gorilla and shit.

Three + One= Good Enough for Mikey Means

sweet shit on a cracker. One practice burner, a fine outline and our fucking world gets so bright I swear Jesus himself was powering that electric candle. I think I ran with all I had in me. My chest burnt till all I could do was suck in dirt and cough up fire. My heart pumped battery acid and my veins ran cold. Four fucking vandals, three cops and two city workers danced last night. For all the law's efforts, those four vandals got away. Yeah, son, I smiled that dusty smile at you when you rolled through with your city truck because I knew what you didn't; you can't trap water for long before it finds a way out.

LVPD got son'd last night.

Here's your smiley face, bitches.

= )

It's on.

...Jesus and I will be about even steven come Sunday. I'll do the mass thing, say "what's really hood?" to Mary and shit and then it's on like fucking king kong.

You'll be like; "means, which one's your beer?" and then I'll be like "It's the one that says bad motherfucker on it."

I mean really, that works for anything I gots. Honeys, whips, kicks...they all say bad motherfucker on them.

Act like you know.

I like..

..Mercedes Benz's with fly honey skinned half white/half filipina girls riding shotgun. I like using lines that are inventive to settle situations and make the women understand. Here's a free-be. Give it a try.

If a honey looks upset: "Excuse me, miss. You dropped your smile."

Wait five seconds and the shit's finished.

Let's stack paper.

I Found This. It's Amazing.

"Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.

Let's go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!"

You know he's right, though.

Why I Heart Penny-Arcade

It's my world only cartoonish.

Noche de Cuplianos

Pres, you're gorgeous. Way to come through for your man. She's a keeper, milky.

No girls worth hollering at but, damn, milky. You're a man now.

Vente uno anos, ese!!

Happy birthday.